De-life? De-realisation? De-personalization? Or just deluded?

Do you ever feel you don't know what your life..should be? Do you often find yourself trying to place your mind into a time or place where your heart was happy; to somehow feel like you belong somewhere? I knew it. Must be a brain twin thing 'cause I'm feeling this so bad right about now. So, why does this happen, does the brain just decide to make you feel like a lost cause for the sake of it? No. In my opinion it is a defense mechanism that the brain puts up, almost like a wall for us to not feel too much emotion for something or someone incase it hurts us. Ahh, how cute is the brain! Looking out for us like that?

Err...no. It's not quite as nice as it sounds. Yeah, yeah I know, people say all the time "I wish I could switch off like that and be that strong" that's all well and good, but how about when you can't switch back on, sweetheart? The brain is such a complex simplicity, it does things so simply and so quickly but how complex can it get?! What gets to me the most is the displacement that I experience when I'm away from something familiar, things get a bit dreamlike and cloudy and I have to look for a piece of my life somewhere in my mind, ironically.

Utilizing ALL of your senses in situations like this help mad amounts. Honestly, even a scent can get you feeling real again, a taste..a song. They're incredible at bringing you back to a time. Why though? why do old things help us trigger our placements? Some may call that living in the past but arguably if you can't grip your present and you don't know your future, the past is the only thing to snap you back. I only mean that for this disorder brain trick.

I don't even feel anxious, so I don't understand why my brain is going on a mad one. Maybe I just think I got this shiiiit called Life under control, but my brain disagrees, clearly. The strongest people suffer this, because they've trained themselves to think in a specific way that in the end the brain thinks like this for everything.

Listen, man. I haven't sussed this one out, yet. I can't tell you the solution but here's a tip; when you feel something, ANYTHING; feel it hard, feel every tiny bit of it, go crazy with the emotion. Just do it. You used to, so do it again. I know what you're going to do, you're going to just forget about it to avoid damage; you must avoid the urge. Whether its happiness or sadness you need to show your brain that your heart wants to work as a team.

At the end of the day; the heart doesn't win without the brain. The heart is willing to work with the brain, you just need to convince it.

Peaaaaaaaaaaayce.

'Or did I come along and hit you wit' the futuristic'

Hold up, lets rewind, lets back the hell up. You want to do what? Live your life in needless pain when you can get rid of it? I know I'm not the only one who thinks that's ridiculous; because your conscience is agreeing with me so that makes two of us. 

Now, I'm not talking about just a person, or just a single situation, I'm talking about self imprisonment. Lack of freedom to express yourself and who you really are. Life is full of struggles and pain, pain which is out of our control, out of hands but not out of sight. Why would you knowingly add more for yourself? My photograph above portrays a woman who is so tied up with baggage and oppression that she feels trapped, she is forced to think that what she wants to do is wrong; when it isn't. She has finally seen sense and is unveiling her layers of isolation and is stepping into her ambitions and goals.

Be who you want to be

Trust me, man; I've been there and it isn't anything nice nor is it leading you anywhere.

Culture vs Passion. Can you do both?...Well duh!

X

So, you come from a typical shallow narrow minded background, with a firm line of doctors, lawyers and accountants running through the generations, and you want to pursue...art? ART? you mean, that horrible thing that expresses ones thoughts and feelings by creating beautiful visuals and messages? How dare you!..

Just kidding. You, my friend; I salute. Well done for breaking out of the stereotype and into something you belong to. Now the big issue here is, "I either do what I love, or keep who I love supporting me" but did you ever think of you supporting..yourself? I'm sure it's great to have loved ones by your side supporting you over your career, but why would you choose something that everybody else supports but you cannot stand, just for the happiness of your close ones. Now, that doesn't make sense, does it? Do what you love, what you shine in and what makes you happy and the people that are meant to be in your life, will stick around for sure. Essentially it is your life, your decisions and they should trust your judgement for yourself better than their own. Family and passion are two things you cannot choose one over the other on, ideally and of course, rightfully; you want both.

The ironic thing about majority of these cases is that somewhere down the family line, in the same culture and blood there is someone who once pursued something very similar to you, they also fought the battle and became someone great, someone that they could look in the mirror and smile at, why? because they followed what they loved. Somewhere and somehow you picked up the same gene. My advice? meet them, ask them their goals, their struggles and their trials and tribulations. Learn from them and use it to meet your goal. Unfortunately, I didn't get to meet that one person who shared the same passion as me, and pursued it extremely well; but damn, I have heard enough stories to know that he went through this crazy battle way before I did!

Now, don't be crazy and use your passion as an excuse to not make money and support yourself financially. Look deeper into your field and see what you can pick out to pay your way. Art is an extremely rich rewarding career. You can make a lot of money if you go about it the right way, do your research, work hard and believe me, you will play 10x harder. Then you can show those doctors that they ain't the only ones rolling in it..when you go and visit them, because you broke 2 bones and lost a tooth...pursuing your art..

..But hey. This is life.